In this new edition of exclusive interview from our Authors’ Corner, we bring to you once again, another amazing and wonderful author in the relationship and marriage space. LAURETTA OGBUM is the co-author (alongside her husband, Johnson Ogbum) of the best-selling book, titled “The ABC of Marriage”. In this interview, she reveals the challenges she faced and overcame on her journey to achieving the status of an author and the powerful alphabetical tips they expounded in their book to help singles and the married get the right perspective and approach to having a joyful and fulfilling marriage. Have a splendid time engaging with this interview.
Please, can you tell us a bit about yourself?
My name is Lauretta Ogbum. I am a therapist and coach. I run the Activator Coaching Academy, where we help build healthy relationships starting with ourselves. Our academy offers relationship and marital coaching. My husband, Johnson Ogbum is an engineer, certified security professional with passion for exemplary leadership and quality relationship that starts from home. We co-authored our book titled “The ABC of Marriage”.
When did you first realize that you want to be an author and why did you decide to be one?
I knew there was a well of knowledge inside me that the world would benefit from; I just had to find ways to share them. Writing a book was one of the means of doing so.
Can you tell us a bit about your journey as an author? What were the struggles or challenges you’ve encountered and surmounted along this journey?
First, I had to accept the fact that I had something to write about. After that, I started researching and developing my idea; put pen to paper and interview people to get other perspectives.
The major challenge I had was developing the idea and carrying out research. To overcome this, I had to put in the required time and effort. In the end, it paid off.
How did you come across TEBEBA Publishing firm and why did you choose TEBEBA as your publisher?
It was recommended to me by Coach Sam Obafemi. The first conversation I had with its CEO made me conclude in choosing it as my publisher. He was encouraging, knowledgeable and very professional in his approach.
Now, let’s talk about the book you co-authored with your husband, ABC of Marriage. What inspired you to write the book?
I ran a series on Instagram, Marriage Alphabet, which I was led to expound. It was purposed to serve as a guide for people to take actionable steps that could transform their marriages for the best.
It was also my way of contributing to marital literacy since a lot of the issues in marriages have been discovered to be a result of ignorance about what marriage entails.
What is your book about and who is it for?
The book serves as a guide and provides time-tested principles for a successful married life applicable in the “now”. It is a simple alphabetical guide where timeless nuggets are shared to provide foundational principles; principles through which couples can build upon marital structures that can stand the test of time.
It is for singles who want to lay a good foundation for their future homes and for couples who want to put in the work required to make their marriage succeed.
What would you say is the most important ingredient for a successful marriage?
The quality of the individuals in the marriage; individuals who are committed to learning and bettering themselves, thereby improving themselves and ultimately, the marriage union. This, I would say, is the most important ingredient because the quality of a marriage is determined by the quality of both partners.
Why do marriages fail these days and what can couples do to secure their marriages?
Marriages fail due to a lack of knowledge of the couple about themselves, their partner and what marriage, as an institution, entails. Couples should not stop investing time and knowledge into their marriages and giving attention to the “little things—those simple, ongoing, daily courtesies and considerations that enhance communication and add sweetness to a relationship.
Do you think couples should keep secrets from each other, even if little?
Every marriage is as unique as one’s fingerprint. It depends on the individuals involved. The reason couples keep secrets from their partners is that the partner may not be able to handle the information well at a certain time or it may not just be necessary to share the information or in a situation where trust might have been broken.
Openness is, however, an important factor for a healthy marriage.
An important topic of discourse about marriages these days is the issue of extended families (in-laws) and their incursion into couples’ home for various reasons. How do you think this should be addressed?
The rule for in-law relationships is “new allegiance, continued honor”.
When you get married, your allegiance shifts to your partner. You, however, owe it to your parents to continue to honor them. Your spouse and marriage come first but there should remain mutual respect for both families.
Like all other human relationships, conflict is always bound to arise. What are the structures that can come into play to mitigate conflict in marriage?
Empathy, Effective communication and Listening (attentiveness).
For couples whose marriages are already treading towards breaking apart, how do you think they can salvage it?
They need to seek professional help ASAP. Some principles govern marriage, which should be learnt. There are patterns that we brought from our backgrounds, which should be unlearned. Still, there are things we need to know about ourselves and our partners.
What is your advice for young people who are just about to go into marriage?
Know and work on yourself first. Who are you? What are your values? What is your background?
What inspires all you do today?
The desire to make an impact and give what I have been designed to contribute to the world
What has been your most memorable moment so far while working on your book project?
My most memorable moment was when TEBEBA encouraged me to print hard copies of the book. It was very memorable since I had been content with just an e-book.
As an experienced author, what advice do you have for someone who wants to get his/her book published?
Get the right publisher like TEBEBA to guide you through the journey and successfully help you birth your dream.
Which authors do you admire?
I admire Myles Munroe. I love his depth of knowledge and wisdom. I also admire Gary Chapman; his simplicity and insights on marriage.
What is the best piece of advice you have received as an author?
“You have something to offer; write it.”
Do you intend to write more books and why?
Yes, I do. I have begun and learnt a lot as a first-time author. I look forward to improving and growing my skill as a writer.
Where and how can we purchase your books?
What are your final words to the audience?
You have something inside you that only you can give to the world. Go ahead and give it; do your part.